My first post

I've never really had my own blog. My friends and I have a dumb yet fun blog called "Not A Joke of The Day." It's a blog where we talk about things that are no jokes, hence the name. Like "man, this ice cream is no joke!" Obviously it gets a little more creative than that though. We think it's the greatest thing ever, but just us..of course.

I never had my own blog though, frankly cause i felt there was not much to say, especially if no one else was seeing it (or at least no one planning on seeing it at first.) Lately however i've had a ton on my mind and I need to get out somewhere. So in other words, I guess its my new therapy. I hate to write words down on paper, i know many prefer it, but i just never have..even prior to computers, etc. First and foremost i absolutely HATE my handwriting. It's held me back from a few things that I'm not happy with. Like writing a letter to a loved one, or sending a 'thank you' note. I've done it before of course...but its rare these days, and that bothers me.

Today i had a girl i was quite fond of cancel dinner plans with me. The best way i can describe the way i feel is 'dissapointment.' I've gone out with a good amount of ladies recently and all have them have sucked. Just your classic idiots..nothing much to talk about..only care about themselves, etc. This girl i thought was different and I still believe she is, but something is holding her back from hanging with me again. The first night we went out was amazing (i thought at least.) There is just a feeling you get when something special is there..and i have not felt that in a while prior to that night with her. She said she was just 'too busy' to go out to dinner tonight' but i'm not dumb. Some people say to me "Well maybe she is busy and you are just overanalyzing?' Which i do of course. I know in this case i'm not though. If you like someone you make time for them..especially if its just for dinner...and especially if she hangs out all the other nights of the week but not just the one night she was supposed to hang with you.

in the end this is all me though...if she does not want to hang she does not want to hang. No point in me freaking. She probably just wanted to be friends anyway and thats fine. I'm just dissapointed in people lately. I keep thinking its LA girls...but i just dont know. I must be throwing some weird vibe off. I'm trying to figure out what that is.

One day i'll look back on this first post..if i even keep blogging..and i'll think to myself "man, was that depressing."